If you go to use the toilet, you’ll need to ensure you have enough toilet paper. When you realize you don’t have enough, you’ll probably decide to just take a shower. When you turn the shower on, you’ll probably forget that you have a dog who loves to play in water. The dog will practically sprint into the shower, getting herself completely drenched, so you’ll probably decide that you might as well give the dog a proper bathe.

If you give the dog a bathe, you’ll go through no less than five towels. You’ll probably realize you needed to do a load of towels anyway so you’ll decide to throw them in the wash. While the towels are in the washing machine you’ll realize that now would be a good time to make sure the dog gets a good brushing and maybe even a trim. You’ll probably forget you have no idea how to cut a dog’s coat so she’ll probably end up looking like she got a bowl cut (which is, honestly, kind of impressive in itself).

If you want to give the dog a trim you’ll have to make her a licky mat so that she’s preoccupied. Even if you give the dog a licky mat, she’ll still move around in an effort to get away so you’ll just move with her and end up with dog fur all over. If you end up with dog fur all over you’ll have to get out the broom and vacuum. If you get out the vacuum you’ll realize you have to empty the cannister. When you empty the cannister, dust and debris will fall everywhere so you’ll have to clean around the trash can.

Cleaning around the trash can will probably remind you that you need to take out the recycling. When you go to take out the recycling you’ll see the empty toilet paper roll. The empty toilet paper roll will probably remind you that this all could have been avoided if you had just waddled yourself to the extra rolls of toilet paper.

*Apologies to Laura Joffe Numeroff.

Update: Apparently the dog is giving off strong Berries and Cream lad vibes.